Androgyny and narcissism

It’s 430 am so don’t expect good grammar.

i was walking around the mall by myself, window shopping and watching movies [or thinking what movies I should watch] when i met this boy/girl person called Mari. She looked almost exactly like me, but a lot more boy-ish in appearance and personality. At first i thought she was kinda weird, detached and careless, but she followed me almost everywhere, so we got to spend some time together.

she was showing me around a very high tech cinema, telling me how every device works. then she showed me this ‘security’ scanner that sent information to the government. she just passed through it with no care in the world, but whatever information I had on me, I wanted to stay anonymous. I did pass through it though. It was like passing through a glass wall that felt like airy water. Sorry, that’s the best I can explain it.

Then, mari took me to the subway. In fact, we were there twice, I just can’t figure out the order of things. The first time, she freaked me out with the way she knew exactly what train was coming and where it was going before seeing the writing on it [trains with many destinations used the same platform]. The second time I was more used to it, but the platform was fucked up. It was basically like throwing a mattress over a really long bench. everyone had to balance in the middle, but i couldn’t sit still and was kinda tipping over. mari was sitting in front of me. i told her that if i flip over, i’d probably fall on the track and get killed by an incoming subway. then she said ‘yea, but that’s not really a heart thought, though, is it?’. she meant that what i was thinking was more a result of logical, brain thinking and not my intuition. that’s when i was happy that she was there and we had a nice moment, forehead to forehead, breathing in together. [hello, therapy for narcissism]

when the next train came, she knew it was hers, so she got up. she started crying about having to go and leave me, but apparently we would meet again. all the people going off and on the platform made it very unstable, so i was just trying to find my place when this guy positioned himself under me and was just being really creepy. I fully meant to kick him in the ‘ahem’, but i ‘remembered’ some safety poster about just trying to remove yourself from the situation. so i woke up.

I woke up laughing

Man, this dream was crazy awesome.

It was some political thing or contest or something. “Ms. Bush” was there. This other girl and I were hosting it and there was this part where we had to improvise something [it was usually songs]. So we started a song about a guy. She sang a part, then I sang a part, then some people in the audience wanted their own parts.
Second song was about fire trucks and I started singing it. I don’t mean to brag or anything, but I came up with an epic beat. I started with a whole verse but the chorus went something like “We’re going to the fire truck station, we’re going to the fire truck station. We’ll put some fires out, some fires out, some fires out, some fires out.” I still have that song in my head. It was SOOOOO good!!! People started beat boxing to it, some were stripping, everybody was chanting in unison. BEST!

Kerli day

I was at Kerli’s house and she was making clothes or something. At first she told me to hand sew an entire shirt, which I didn’t even start, seriously. Then she kept telling me to give her some things that she needed to glue on. I don’t know what she called them, but they looked like white radishes. Apparently she had a drawer full of veggies that she was using to make her stuff.

Then a bunch of people came to her house, including her parents, who took me shopping at the mall. They wanted to show me around or something.
After that I went home and chilled online with Kerli, her weird friend and Olivia. Whoo!

Pink seal and frozen water

I’m half asleep, but I don’t wanna forget this dream, so here goes.

I wanted to get a job, so I thought of writing a letter and sending it out to people. It differs from a cover letter in that it’s a lot more about my personal thoughts and aspirations and less about qualifications and experience. So obviously, I needed inspiration.

My friend and I went to a field where we found a few trees, and beyond that was a swamp. Walking even further was a magical place where crystals grew on rocks, like moss. We stayed there for a while and then left. The next time we came back though, we stopped at the swamp. It was frozen now and seals were swimming in it and just chilling. We stopped to look at them and feed them fish. I was usually just throwing fish in the water, but then I noticed this one seal had really cool pink flowery designs on its wings [that's what I called them. kinda looked like it too] so I kept watching it. It looked hungry and beat up, so I wanted to make sure that it got some fish. I walked around to get a closer look and next thing I know a seal had jumped out of the water right beside me [which I thought was the seal I had been watching]. She looked human then. She kept doing things like rolling on her back, lifting her legs up, or playing in the snow and she was urging me to do the same. Kinda like comparing our bodies. What humans can do and what seals can do. Then she said that we’re not that different after all. I really liked her.

Then she took my friend and I to meet her family. Her mom had almost the same pinkish wings, so I said she must’ve gotten that from her. But then the seal said it wasn’t her who had the cool designs, but her sister, and I had to save face by complimenting her for like half an hour.

This is where dream gets a little fuzzy, but I remember taking some crystals and charging them or releasing their energy by using rocks. The seal was showing us how you could make the crystals light up.

PS. Is it just me, or I dream about water a lot. Hmm.

Swim at Night

This dream blends into another one, and it all started when I was taken to the sea at night. I remember going into the water, stepping on sand, shells and seaweed. The water was warm and clear.
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I was good friends with Kristen Stewart [tyea, go figure] and we were supposed to learn how to swim together. They took us to a pool, but there were waves and sand and all that fun sea stuff. There was also a skylight, and we could see the stars very clearly. The stars were moving across the sky and sometimes we got to see galaxies or nebulas, or other fun stuff.
We also had this bodyguard with us [he was wearing normal clothes, but goggles in case something went wrong].

We were mostly free to go in and out of the water whenever, with the main focus being on survival. At one point, I was showing Kristen how to swim against the waves, and then back with the waves. Then I let her do it. She made it against the waves all the way to the other side of the pool, but when she was making her way back, she went down and never came up. The bodyguard started walking on water [something with thick sand on the surface, or I don't know :\] and looking for her. Then he found her and pulled her up.
Kris was fine, but she wouldn’t cough. She kept saying that she didn’t feel the need to cough, but that just didn’t make sense to me. Either way, we all walked [on water] back to the main shore and rested there for a while. I thought we were done swimming, so I put my clothes back on and watched the stars with Kris, while she was braiding my hair.
Then the bodyguard guy shows up and tells me that just because Kris almost drowned, that doesn’t mean that I can stop swimming. So he made me change back into bathing suit and get into the water.
That’s when I woke up.

Awful Fairytale

The dream starts with me and my mother getting kicked off a train in the middle of nowhere. There was tall grass and bright sun. We walked a bit, trying to get to our destination, and stopped on a hill. That’s when I found out that we were to wait there until the royal family announced that they were ready for us.

At that point, my mom and I really had to go to the bathroom, but couldn’t find a proper place, since we weren’t the only ones waiting for the royals. The forest was getting more and more crowded. Then this guy came up to me and said that he ‘heard horses’, which was our cue to leave. So we walked away from the rest of the crowd and got to a stable. There were 4 horses, one being a mare and the others foals. They were pretty much uncontrollable, so I ended up tying them to each other with a short rope in order to restrict their movements.

Some time passes, and I am now living in a dorm with 3 other girls. One of them showered constantly.
I was very close friends to one of them [Jenny], and another girl from another dorm, but we were all like family there. My two close friends and I were convinced that the royal family was doing terrible things in order to hide secrets or get away with things that they shouldn’t be doing. So we regularly stole their family book in order to read about their history and find some proof of their actions. Usually, we stole the book at night and looked at it in a hidden circular room, but one day we did things differently.

My friends and I were all still kids, so we could get away with something like getting lost in a clothing store, while the prince was looking for us. We did that so Jenny could steal the book in the middle of the day. She wanted to tell everyone what kind of people the royals were, so she started showing the book to the other girls in our dorm. Jenny was supposed to give me the book, since I could decode it and/or destroy it and/or expose the family.
All of a sudden there was something like an alarm or very loud commotion, which made Jenny freak out and pass the book to me with a note that she wrote in our secret alphabet. Unfortunately, we hadn’t used the alphabet in a while, so I couldn’t read it.

Jenny was running down the stairs, and I told her sister to hide the book somewhere safe. I was guessing that Jenny wanted me to follow her, so I did. I found her and my other close friend stopped at the top of the stairs, looking at a door. There was some strange hissing coming from it, but I didn’t think much of it and told my friends to run. The hissing got louder though, and the door opened. There were a group of tall, blonde women dressed in green, with snakes instead of tongues. I think we called them Valkyries. I freaked out and I ran back up the stairs and into the dorm, while Jenny and my friend stood frozen. A few seconds later, one of the Valkyries came up the stairs, looked at me and called me Jenny. Then my friends came up the stairs and pointed at the real Jenny, regretting it almost instantly. Turns out the royal family had found out about Jenny stealing the book and sent the Valkyries to kill her. They sent her entire family into our dorm to watch.

The attic

I lived in a different house and was completely in love with it. I loved the windows, the rooms, the furniture… everything! We had a basement and an attic. We hung out in the basement sometimes, but not so much in the attic.

So I was with a friend, just having fun, when it suddenly started to rain really hard. In fact, it was such a bad storm that concrete would just collapse, leaving huge holes in the streets where whirlpools formed. My house was all fine, except that all of a sudden, water started dripping from the ceiling. Every room had water dripping from the ceiling. I wanted to go check the attic, but I was kind of scared [of ghosts?]. Instead, my friend and I hid under a red blanket together. After a while, a few grownups showed up. I think they were related to my friend. So I immediately sent them upstairs and followed them. The first thing I noticed was that no water was coming through the attic ceiling and that the carpet wasn’t wet. Someone pointed to a muddy footprint on the carpet and said that the cleaning lady mopped it all up. I had no cleaning lady and my mom hadn’t been home in a while.

Looking around the attic a bit more, I noticed that quite a few of the lamps there were turned on. I walked around to turn them off in order to save on electricity. I also noticed that one section of the ceiling around the entrance was covered in plus toys or their fur, and another section was covered in hay braided together. Someone said that hay was a material with ‘religious significance’ and that the hay would make me more spiritual. He kept saying that I chose that house because of its energies, I chose to be ‘carbon based’ and to be different. When he finished his little speech, I was so happy with myself that I actually started glowing golden. I wasn’t afraid of the attic anymore and couldn’t think of why I shouldn’t move in there. It was like fully furnished apartment, and decorated with some weird things [like the plush toys on the ceiling].

Then this old guy with almost no hair came in to discuss the footprint. Apparently he knew everything that was going on in the neighbourhood or something. He was so nervous that he started pulling on his hair and ripping it out in clumps. I was really disgusted until I realized that it wasn’t his real hair. He grew blonde hair [as opposed to the black he had before] and suddenly he looked young. He said that a group of people were living in the attic but that they would leave if I kicked them out [which I did]. So Julia Roberts, one of the people living there, and I walked around the attic while she showed me what was hers and what was mine. Most of the furniture was hers, but she did leave me a dress.

Night time

I was at work, but interestingly enough, we were missing the ceiling and there was a lot of water on the floor. I then looked at the sky and saw some lights taking very sharp turns in the sky. I spent some time trying to convince myself that they were stars, when  I noticed that the earth was rotating very fast, making the stars pass through the sky very quickly. My friend was preparing to go home so I told her about the lights and tried to tell her that they were spaceships. Then something happened and I ended up floating on water alongside a frog and some tadpoles, so I tried making a video for my friend so I could send it to her and she would know what I was talking about. I filmed the sky and the frogs and talked about life and other things. I never finished/sent her the video because soon I was walking on a beach and I was wondering where the hell I had ended up.

Pets and Pests

1. I was at work, when suddenly they told me to go downstairs and clean. Downstairs turned out to be a basement with lots of dust, furniture thrown about everywhere, broken windows, etc. I was trying to clean with this special liquid, when I noticed that there were a LOT of huge ants around. I heard someone say that they tried killing them with poison but they just wouldn’t die.

 

2. My mom’s friend gave us a cat. I’m not a huge fan of cats, but I love animals, so I took it in and was very nice to it. The cat wasn’t. Whenever I tried petting it or holding it, it would scratch me. I got it a litter box and the cat peed in it [showing me that it was trained], but the cat then said that it didn’t like the box because it smelled bad. I then went to look for food for the cat. We didn’t have cat food yet, so my mom was cooking meat. In the meantime, I noticed the cat’s fur and how much it looked like autumn leaves. I tried naming it many things, but I think in the end I called it Fall.

Dolls and water

1. There was a really creepy doll with kind of a broken face. She was dark and lived in the subway somewhere. The police were after her and picked up a marble as evidence that she was evil. -insert more scenes of people being afraid of her and trying to find her. At the end of the dream, I saw her happy and peaceful, sewing marbles into a sketchbook, on a drawing of earth/people. She was singing a song which I don’t fully remember, but she kept saying ‘I am beautiful and I celebrate creation’.

 

2. I was travelling with my friends, but I’m not sure where we were going. We saw what people called ‘the beach’, even though it looked more like a lake and was completely surrounded by grass. We were standing at the top of the cliff and even though there was a pathway down to the beach, we thought it would be safer to not go down. We also stopped in a city to check out some spacecraft or something. At the end, we were going to a specific city, but there was water everywhere so a bunch of people travelled on huge rafts.